At some point of time, I am sure one or the other has searched for this term in their favorite search engines. As of this moment when this is being typed, if someone has tried that set of word using the largest search engine, then eight out of the first ten results would show about accidents and insurance claims arising out of an accident. I was a bit bewildered. According to the Wikipedia, another amazing repository for knowledge, “Pain and suffering” is the legal term for the physical and emotional stress caused from an injury. It serves as a set of collective words here.
I am no expert in pain dealing, but there’s more to pain and suffering.
My post on Pain was entirely about all the pain I had suffered on one unfortunate day. That however didn’t end then and there. I had to go through a surgery two days after that, during which of course I was under anesthetics, but the next few nights were utterly painful. Shots of pain killers still came but I stopped the nurses from injecting. I decided it was better to bear the lesser pain but not the pain killers any more.
Then the other day, I happened to watch the Edward Norton and Brad Pitt starrer movie “Fight Club” and I found some logic in few things in it. The movie is no doubt a wonderful one as is also apparent from its position in the IMDB top 250 listings.
There are pain, suffering, misery of so many kinds to which human beings try to bind their emotions but try to stay away at the same time. We fear pain. But what if one gets accustomed to all sorts of physical torments? Then it leads to fearlessness. Pain becomes a form of enjoyment once you are used to it. Well this enjoyment need not necessarily be the same form as is accepted in general. Imagine that as a form of ecstasy of a kick boxer who had gone through many rounds of fights, after the few or many blows to him or her by the opponents and finally emerged out victorious. That kick boxer would swallow all the blows, however hard they may be, down the throat and would begin to feel lively. But in the movie “Fight Club”, most of the injuries was to forget pain and to “know” that someday everyone was gonna die. And as one of the lines in the movie goes “What would you wish you’d have done before you died?” or put another way – “what would you like to do at this moment if you knew that you are going to die?” Would sound like a pretty insane question to the audience, but that’s a question I think one needs to ask to his or her true self most often if not everyday. Why? Because, the answer to that can give a better meaning to the life of that individual.
So what’s the essence of the matter? Pain and suffering are and had been there. But just as it depends upon how one views at a certain matter, it matters here as well. Whether one cries and gets carried away by the pain, or begins to enjoy it? That’s the perspective.
Nevertheless, the other form of pain – emotional, is much hard to tackle. A character in a very popular TV series of the present time says “First you show me that I can’t be hurt by any weapon and then you cut me deeper than any blade”. Physical pain heals with time but the trauma of an emotional one could last for as long as the soul lives. There had been many instances where one is hurt emotionally since time and again. And when it comes to the matter of love, the pain inflicted when betrayed is much more. That would remain fresh and volatile. Whatever one does, wherever one goes, a mere thought of the betrayal would always make a misery out of life. End to physical pain is to succumb to it – death. An emotional suffering on the other hand could lead to a harrowing end or may be there is no end to it at all. But as they say, may be “time heals everything”.
Going by the legal term, insurance claims can be made for “Pain and suffering” but that would deal only with the physical form, but it can never take care of the emotional but. Coming back to me, for long I have learned to accept pain. As much explains when I picked up this line for me “I am accustomed to pain”, as Frankenstein said.
To end with, I came across an amusing line that read, “As soon as you’re born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time!”
If there are any other perspective on this, just add in.
The other day, I and a very good friend of mine were having a chat exchange on the matter of friendship. It started off as a slow and gradual talk initially offline but when we got onto chat, we went on to discuss a few matters in a very serious tone. And this is what we came out with, which I have of course edited slightly to obfuscate any reference to any person for privacy concerns.
Other person: ……
me: You are one kinda person i won’t forget in future I guess. 🙂
Other person: that was sweet :). Won’t allow you to forget also 😛
me: I should be hating u. Ain’t I?
Other person: hahah, Why??? Why should you be hating me?? 😛
me: You know why!
Other person: hahah. Naah.. I don’t do things that someone should hate :P. But depends on individual perspective.
me: or is it that my thinking has gone orthodox.
Other person: hmm. Naah. Just that I have been too unorthodox. Like in the western world. I live like that.
me: should say Yes to that.
Other person: again depends 🙂 You can say yes to anything u think is right 😛
me: But who decides what is right n what is not?
Other person: no one can decide. What is right for u can be wrong for me and other way round 🙂 What u believe is right will be right for you. That’s it. This is no trigonometry, physics or chemistry to have theorems that can prove anything. This is life 🙂
me: Even one in a mental asylum would believe his deeds are right.. But the wardens try to keep correcting the “wrong” to right.
Other person: but how do you know what is right for one and what is not? Sometimes we have to lie. They say telling lies is wrong.
me: maybe. Depends upon ethics and morals.
Other person: But if it helps someone, and harms no one then how can it be wrong. I think it becomes wrong when u think u have to say the truth of something that can hurt someone. Even the basic principles of moral sciences go wrong sometimes….
me: so do u mean the point of time when I asked u about ‘……..’, it was wrong?
Other person: Hey Naaah. This is a part of being there for each other. These are not things that matter. At least not to me. Relax 🙂 You were right in what you asked. Else I would have toldanyway. Better to tell things than let you assume!
me: Yah. Right! Reminds me of my line – “Just friends to good friends to best friends to…… where does this end?”
Other person: hahahaha. Naughty!
me: I am glad i gained the guts to ask.
Other person: haha.
me: and much more glad that u responded and didn’t discard it off.
Other person: haha. You know me. I don’t take anything at heart.
me: i would like to limit my kinda “BEST” friends to that level only
Other person: what level?
me: to the level I have gone with you!
Other person: Yeah. I know. That’s nice and nothing to hide kind of relationship. Relax 🙂 You are very sweet…. you know
me: Thanks for that. Ok. Chuck it. This is again going somewhere. I said earlier I didn’t want to talk on chat about this. Better is face to face.
Other person: hahaha.
me: or the notepad way at least :0)
Other person: yeah that’s better.
me: That’s a good way of interaction when two ppl are with each other and none of them can speak openly.
Other person: hehe. Yeah I do that often 😛
That concluded the serious and philosophical discussion. Please note that these statements are strictly personal and may not necessarily abide by established sources.
There are different forms of it. In a broad way, it can be inflicted emotionally or physically. Every human being has experienced either or both of these at least once in their life. In the quarter of a century of my life, I have been through many “painful” situations, however small they may be. However the latest one I have experienced not many days back was the physical form and I would definitely not like to keep it in memory. It all happened so quickly, there was no scope of escaping it.
It was like any usual day at office when this accident paused my life. In the afternoon I decided to go for lunch at my friends place and took another friends bike. I had just started and gone few 100 meters when I saw a car coming from the other side. There was a small by-lane towards my left into which the car probably wanted to turn and go but misjudged the speed at which I was riding. And then there was a crashing sound “Bang!!” I felt like I flew for a very short fraction of a second and the next moment I was there on the road with a strange sensation in my right leg. With my trouser torn at the right thigh area, I saw a long slit in the skin there. I could literally see the flesh inside and blood flowing out slowly. Everything came as a shock. But it was the right ankle. I tried to stand but the ankle wouldn’t allow me and I sat beside the road. I saw the driver of the car also standing along with few other people who came rushing seeing the accident. To my surprise, there was another young girl sitting in the middle of the road and crying with pain. I wonder where she came from! My ankle was slowly beginning to act. I felt it shivering. Then I saw two of my colleagues who were on the road and waved at them. One of them owned the bike. On realizing that it was me, they came rushing. Soon an autorickshaw was brought. Few of them lifted me and seated in it. I again tried resting my right feet on the floor of the auto but it was very painful. I couldn’t. Next to me, the lady who was crying with pain was seated and the other colleague came in. We were taken to a hospital which was pretty close. All this while I was hoping that somehow this pain stops.
Soon in the emergency section, stitches were done on my thigh. I cried out to the doc to do something about the ankle before going ahead with anything. But it turned out that the orthopedic doctor wasn’t there and would take a couple of hours to reach. Apart from taking a few X-Rays, there was nothing else. Expecting for good, I had no other choice than to hold on with patience. And bearing pain for long hours…. thats hellish. I could only try to distract myself.
“if only I wouldn’t have taken his bike and walked down”
“if I were on my Avenger, this wouldn’t have happened probably”
“how did it all happen”
“how would the agony of a person be if there were nobody nearby to give a hand”
These were the kind of thoughts that crossed my mind during those painful hours.
I tried as hard as possible to forget the pain or bear it but as those first two hours got over, it became very difficult to hold on to the burning sensation below my feet. a stretch pad was fixed with a temporary plaster Late though, when the doc finally arrived, I felt an assurance within me emotionally. Seeing the X-rays, he told that there was definitely a dislocation. Soon I was taken to the OT. It was already dark then and had been more than four hours since the accident occurred. This was my first time in most of the matters. I am in the hospital with a relatively serious injury, visit to the operation theater and not able to pee on my own as I was unable to walk now. In the OT, the doc was as polite as inquisitive I was. I kept on asking what all they were injecting in my body with those syringes. Then there was this injection which was inserted somewhere in between the spine and soon both my legs went numb. In some way, I felt it was a relief as I can forget the agony for as long as the anesthetic was working. This was a surgery less operation where he would only correct the dislocation. And this got over in about half an hour. The affect of the anesthetic was still there even after coming out of the OT. Most of the office folks were there outside along with few of my other friends. Back to the Semi Deluxe room, I was again shifted from the stretcher to my bed. Now all this while, I had to do with glucose injected through my veins while Nurses came to inject pain killers and antibiotics.
Pain, I hoped would subside gradually but as the effect of the anesthetic became mild and then died off, it was back. The pain killers that were injected weren’t of any help. The night was not one that any people expects of. That sensation which was there initially was certainly gone now…but there was this swelling I guess which made sure I wasn’t comfortable at all. But I had no other option than to expect for the good and keep up with my pain bearing capacity until then.